If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
