Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
