Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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