The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I have demons in me.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
