dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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