areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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