He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
