Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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