we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
