That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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