Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
