You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
They are going to name an STD after you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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