I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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