I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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