Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
