I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
