BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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