i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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