You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
we're so committed to being not committed
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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