I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
