brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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