just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
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