He had one of those small greek statue penises
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
