I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize