Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
