To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
