he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
