Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
