i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize
