you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
