You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
