isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
