Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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