you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
