I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
