Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I have post one night stand depression
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
