After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
