You work out of a Hotel?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
