Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
