He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
