Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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