Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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