And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
