STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
