the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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