do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
