i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
