Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize