WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
