i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize