I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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