And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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