Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
