I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
