I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
