i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
